


No Going Back

by laireshi



Category: Marvel 616
Genre: Angst, Doppelganger, Hydra Steve Rogers, M/M, Not A Fix-It, Post-Secret Empire, real Steve is here too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-25 07:22:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13829280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laireshi/pseuds/laireshi
Summary: The real Steve Rogers goes to see Hydra Cap in prison. They end up talking about Tony--and what Hydra Cap has done to him.





	No Going Back

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Назад дороги нет](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14979605) by [Radioactive_Scorpion](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Radioactive_Scorpion/pseuds/Radioactive_Scorpion)



> For the letter "F" and prompt "Fracture". Thanks to Comicsohwhyohwhy for beta!
> 
> Also a fill for my stony bingo card, a picture prompt with an annoyed looking Steve.

“He let me kiss him, that first time,” Steve’s doppelgänger says, slow and easy, when Steve approaches his cell.

“Let me in,” Steve says to the guards. “You know the signal to let me out. And if something happens, Tony Stark knows how to tell us apart.”

“He got _very_ familiar—”

No longer separated by the bars, Steve takes a swing.

And stops. Whatever else he’s done, that other Steve is defeated. He’s in chains in the most secure prison in the United States. _Tony_ designed his security.

Steve won’t punch a defenceless man. 

His counterpart is laughing at him. “Is that the _true_ Captain America? Too weak to hurt someone you hate? Too much of a coward to make a step even though you’d loved _him_ for years?”

Steve stays firmly in the same spot. “You lost,” he says. “You know you were never even _real_.” 

Something gleams in the other Steve’s dark, mad eyes. “Real?” he asks. “That’s a philosophical question. What I did was real enough, at least. Tell me, can Tony meet your eyes?”

Steve won’t give him the satisfaction of answering the question. Tony hasn’t spent more than a few seconds alone with him in one room. Of course he hasn’t.

And it’s not like Steve can blame him: he remembers exactly what his fucking doppelgänger has done to Tony, remembers it with his eidetic memory in high definition, every scream torn from Tony’s throat and every bruise on his skin.

He can’t sleep, most days, because in place of nightmares, he dreams of _that_. 

“He liked it at first,” the other Steve says, almost gently. “He was _so happy_. So ready to be loved. If he ever were going to suspect me, well, kissing him took care of that.” He shakes his head. “He told me he loved me. I told him what you felt: ‘ _I love you too, Tony. I love you and I admire you.’_ Pathetic.”

Steve’s breathing fast. He remembers Tony’s smile, the brightest Steve’s ever seen. But now he won’t ever see Tony smile again. It’s all Steve can do not to hit and strangle the man and just—just tear him apart. 

But he won’t. He can’t. _He’s not like him_. 

(But he’d dreamt of having Tony for _years_ , and this twisted Nazi clone stole it from him, _hurt Tony_ , maybe beyond fixing.)

“You should’ve seen his face when he realised you were all a lie,” the _wrong_ Steve continues. “He tried to fight, then. That’s when _my_ fun really started. You loved him so much, after all.”

Steve has seen it. He’s willing to let Strange mindwipe him again just to forget it.

“You’re _sick_ ,” Steve spits out the words like they’re poisonous. “You—you were supposed to be destroying the world, and what, you went after Tony—”

The other Steve laughs. “What is it you’re saying, Captain? Would you have liked it more if I had blown up Vegas but never laid a finger on Tony?”

Steve’s panting. He can’t see straight. He’s more than mad, he’s _furious_. Everyone tells him it wasn’t his fault, _but it was_. This monster only went after Tony to hurt Steve.

And worst of all, he’s _right_. He knows that if given a choice, Tony would _willingly_ sacrifice himself for anything, if it meant saving even one other person. But Steve, Steve . . . 

Steve fought with Tony as their world was dying around them. Steve fought with Tony, because _Tony_ was willing to make a similar sacrifice, kill other planets to save their own. How was Steve any better? How could he have missed it then?

He’d level down the Earth to keep Tony safe.

He looks down.

“Thought so,” his counterpart says. “And you know what? He screamed when I fucked him.” Every word is designed to cut Steve to the bone. 

Steve remembers that. He remembers the euphoria his counterpart felt. He remembers as if Tony was writhing under him, uselessly trying to get away.

“And then he cried,” the other Steve says, quietly. “It was really beautiful.”

“But he never broke.” Steve raises his head, finding strength in Tony once more. Tony shouldn’t be his rudder. Tony gets hurt when Steve relies on him. “You raped him and you tortured him and he _never broke_.”

The other him smiles. “True. If only I had a while longer with him . . .”

“He’d have destroyed _you_.” And he did anyway, in a manner. It was Tony’s research that helped the other heroes.

Steve’s counterpart tilts his head. “Maybe,” he admits. “That made it better.”

“All that time,” Steve says, and the words hurt, but he has to say them. “All that time you spent hurting him—because his screaming was better than his indifference. You say you’re not _weak_ like me, but you sure _love_ him in a wrong, twisted way. You’re a monster.”

The other Steve pulls his chains, his face suddenly mad. “I hurt him to hurt _you_ ,” he spits.

Steve nods. “Yes. But not only that.”

“Does it matter?” his counterpart snaps. “Will you ever touch him again? I assume you could try, you _want_ it so much. But do you think he’ll look at you and not see me, ever? Maybe he’ll try, he is after all so very strong. Maybe he’ll kiss you. Maybe he’ll convince you to fuck him. Do you think there’ll be anything but terror in his eyes? He’ll tell himself it’s his choice, but he’ll always know that’s just because he was too scared to say no. Because maybe, it’s me. And maybe you were always like me, and he just never noticed.”

Steve jumps at him, wraps his hands around his other self’s throat, and squeezes, hard.

His counterpart is laughing until he starts coughing, gasping for air, and Steve keeps holding him with one hand as he hauls off with his right and punches him in the jaw, again, and again, and again.

For what he’s done to Tony. For what he’s done to their future. 

“And here,” his counterpart wheezes out, “is the proof. You are like me.”

Steve punches him to shut him up.

“You are,” the other Steve repeats, fighting for air with every word. “And Tony knows it.”

Steve’s hand drops to his side as if someone cut off its string. “No.”

“What are you waiting for?” his counterpart asks. “ _Finish it_.”

Steve runs to the cell door, but it’s locked, of course it’s locked, and he inputs the code that would alert the guards to get him out, and he can hear his counterpart laughing behind him the whole time.


End file.
